Thursday, July 30, 2009

A show of strength - V

Live on Television

Producer: Welcome! After our disastrous foray into dance shoes, oops shows, we've received more than 2000 SMS'es in the no advertised. 1999 of them cribbed against our terrible performance and threatened to sue us with legal action, if we continued to host dance shows! There was however one heart-whelming SMS, though which praised the show as 'magnificento' and admired all the judges and asked us to continue doing the good work that we were doing! However since we like to get to the bottom of things, we hired a private investigator to figure out who this solitary admirer was and the message was traced to a secret second mobile owned by Huck! Since then, I've had a war of words with Huck and the media quick to pounce on anything and sensationalize stuff broke out the news of a falling between Huck and me. I want to re-iterate that though we have our differences (pretty large ones too!), we are a team! and we will remain a team! Over to Huck!

Huck: Thank you! (sobbing with a hanky) That was a very emotional moment. I don't know what to say. ...

(rotating head in clockwise and counter-wise repeatedly with eyes wide open for a whole minute)

Alrite! Now all of you get back to work! Cameraman! action! Producer! Get back to ur chair! You! Who the f are you??? Oh sorry! the celebrity that we are going to host! Hic! Excuse plz!

Huck: Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to the show that you have all loved to see succeed, Huck's talk show! To continue with our honorable producer's show of strength of teamwork et al, I now request all of you to stand up and observe two minutes of silence!

Producer: You can't ask all our million viewers to stand up! You are on TV!
Huck: We are LIVE ain't we? and there are people watching us LIVE? ain't they? So why can't I ask them to stand up? am communicating LIVE to them. ain't I?
Producer: But still...
Huck: Let me give you an analogy! I just love analogies! You go to a theater. Say they are screening a very patriotic movie. There's a voice over the speaker saying, we are going to play the National Anthem now. All rise! You can't see the speaker, but you oblige don't you?
Producer: I suppose, I would!
Huck: There! I rest my case!

Screen flashing: Huck's talk show is now observing a two minute silence. If you would like to join, please rise up and observe it with us wherever you might be...
You may remain seated if you are handicapped, but if you don't like to be discriminated, we encourage you to call your medical practitioner within the next 1 minute and 54 seconds and counting down for medical advice on what to do... (fine print: all outgoing calls made during this period will be charged at an additional 3rs/sec)

2 minutes elapse

Screen flashing: Amen!

Huck: Welcome back! Wasn't that a sort of first for live telly?
Cameraman: Not really! I've seen shows of God on TV and I've seen people prostrate before the Telly!
Huck: Wow! That would take some beating!

(Thinking hard)

Huck: Yep! That would *definitely* take some f****** beating to do!

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