Thursday, April 16, 2009


Different people have different takes on different situations. Here's my take on other people's takes of a very classical scene.

The scene

A glass half full of water in the center of an otherwise bare dining table. A coaster lies beside the glass on the dining table.

And here comes ...

The optimist: That's half full! Yay! :)
The pessimist: That's half empty! sigh! :(
The materialist: Two fifty bucks for the glass! and to make it perfectly fair, I'll throw in the water for free!
The philanthropist: (raising the glass in his hand) friends, thirsty-men and women, lend me your glasses!
The selfish: (after hiding the glass) what glass? what water? what do you want me to say?
The activist: The water in this glass can make thirst a thing of the past for exactly one person exactly one time
The chemist: I believe, with a little more time, we have all the perfect ingredients to make the perfect fungus the world has ever seen

The CEO: Friends, I have a open door policy just like this open glass. Call upon me anytime you have any problem, but if we are running out of drinking water, as we seem to be, please contact the administrative department instead!
HR person 1: water, oh water! look how much you need motivation! come on water! motivate yourself to come out of the glass! come on! you can do it! go water go!
HR person 2:
I don't think it's working. He's not listening.
HR person 1:
He is. Look he is getting agitated... Oh crikes! It's an earthquake!

The politician:
vote for me! Never will a single glass in the country be half full ever again [We'll make sure to drain whatever's left also]

The music lover:
(admiring at the glass) How beautiful. The glass and water in perfect synchrony with each other just like a symphony. la-la-la, la-laaa-laaa
The film actor and the vain lady:
(admiring at the glass), Hmm, A little nose job, and that would make me more purrrr-fect!

The software programmer:
Is this water tested properly for bacteria?
The software tester:
Hey! That's my job!
The software manager:
Let's not quarrel amongst us. Tester, you test it and file a report to me in XLS format
The priest:
May the tester's soul rest in peace, just like the quarter portion of water remaining in this glass

The libran:
Wow! What perfect balance! It's exactly at the half way mark!
The piscean, scorpion and cancerian(water signs):
Hey! That's my natural environment we are talking about! A little respect is in order!
The gemini-an, aquarian, libran:
That's half air in there! It's our natural environment too! and look the air is on top and spreads out! you just can't contain us! Freedom! Freedom!
Fire signs:
No point going in now. Water and air are a potent combination. Ask our troops to lie low and remain on high alert. we attack at nightfall!

Mr. ant:
my! oh my! I have met my soul mate finally! and she's plump just like i wanted!
The cleanliness-freak:
(noticing a small greenish tinge at the bottom of the glass) err. Can i have a straw?

Trojan war lords:
Ask our carpenters to stop working. We don't need the trojan horse. The fools have left their fort open!

Queue breaker 1
(Yes, They have earned their right to be a separate species): I saw it first! Mine! mine!
Queue breaker 2 :
Liar! The glass reflected my image first!

spills the water on the table and starts making make-shift globs fighting against each other

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