Tuesday, November 13, 2012


The other day, a really good friend of mine taunted me for not upgrading my car yet. He even remarked that my father was so much more constantly on top of new gadgets out in the market, whereas I was sticking with the old and the dusted and wasn't really enjoying life.

There's not much basis to the more material things mean more enjoyment statement. Once your basic needs are met, I feel the rest are all clutter. His statements however put me into a really introspective mood on what I really wanted in life. Not surprising, cause I really don't need a excuse to start the introspection engine these days. A few years ago I had a ambition of making a lot of money, becoming famous, owning a mercedes. I was working relentlessly carving out a name for myself in my work circle. And today, where's that drive? That ambition?

I had a revelation some time back when I was tinkering around with the piano. That all the money in this world cannot make me play this instrument beautifully, it's just my own time and practice that can. It's difficult to arrive at such a revelation until you actually sit in front of the piano and try to play with your hands together. It's only then the sheer magnitude of difficulty strikes you and then you strain every nerve in yourself to make it work and when it does, it's sheer joy, joy beyond what you would have experienced anywhere. The experience was so surreal that I described my sensations to a musically inclined friend and asked him what it meant and he laughed and explained that I had just felt the equivalent of a musical orgasm.

Maybe money can buy the best teachers, best books, but one still can't drill musical knowledge into oneself. Well, they probably can if you are Neo and you are inside the matrix movie. Forget my hatch, I don't even remember when I last upgraded my wardrobe. If I look at people who have been inspirational, Ilayaraja, Einstein, all of them had minimal wardrobes. That Steve Jobs always wore his trade mark turtleneck sweater mostly dwarfs his collection in theory, however large it might have been in practice. I read somewhere that Einstein had just 4 suits and that they were all alike because he didn't want to waste time deciding what to wear. I am not sure if the story is true, but it resonates with me and agrees with my own portrayal of Einstein's character.

We all live finite lives averaging around 70 years. Do I want to waste this finite time here figuring out day after day what I want to wear? I guess not. I think unless you devote every second that you can muster to your interests/passions, our lives are limited to a short time span here. If we want to truly immortalize us, we need to treat time as the only thing we have and spend it wisely. In the pursuit of such a path with some talent and luck probably lies immortality. Einstein will live forever in our memories and the generation after ours and after theirs and ever. Ilayaraja too, Malaysia Vasudevan too, for who else could render such a soul striking melody like 'kodai kaala kaatre' like he did? Immortality - How's that for ambition?

Listen to this song with headphones. Crank up the volume as much as you can so you can discern every note that's being played and you will see how beautiful this melody is.

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