Thursday, December 30, 2010


Producer: Welcome to the greatest talk show on Earth hosted by the most beautiful person, on the inside and on the outside!

Assistant Producer: What's the big deal? I thought we were done and dusted with?
Huck: You are kidding! I was on a sabbatical!
Producer: So what is this last show going to be about?
Huck: You are the producer of the show, and you don't know what's it going to be about?
Producer: If only I had that luxury, if only I had...

Huck: Your wish is granted. This show is about new year resolutions. 2011 is almost upon us. So let's all make resolutions. All rise!
Producer: Resolutions? That sounds interesting! How many are we gonna make?
Huck: As many as we can think of!
Producer: Awesome! and how many are we going to actually do?
Huck: That depends. (holding a book) I have with my the 'Huck's dictionary of interesting terms' - As per this book, A resolution is like a promise. It's meant to be made and broken at any time. So well it depends...

Producer: Damn! What's the first one?
Huck: We'll start with the standard one. Let's make a resolution to not make any more resolutions!
Producer: Hear Hear! My dear audience! Huck has gone mad! Aren't we defeating the purpose of the show then? Why would we need to make any more resolutions after that?
Huck: Hear Hear! My super dear audience! I hope you were paying more attention than this stupid producer! (waving the book) We make the resolution and then break it immediately! Moving on to the second one.
Producer: I object! How dare you abuse me on this show? You are such a superficial, shallow person! For years you have been dumping garbage on your audience! and now on me! in a live show! You lazy goose!
Huck: Overruled! (long pause) any more objections?
Producer: I strenuously object!
Huck: Can't you atleast be original in your objections? Why do you copy dialogues from 'a few good men' ?
Producer: Damn! you've seen that too?
Assistant Producer: (hushed tone) Pst! I gave him a DVD copy.
Producer: (hushed tone) Remind me to fire you after the show!

Huck: Of course, I have. Anyways. Since I have been accused that am superficial, shallow and I dump all sorts of garbage on my viewers. So I am going to make a resolution for that.
Producer: What's that? dump sewage instead?
Huck: Looks like even if I wanted to change, some extenuating factors won't let me!
Producer: Err. sorry! Dump Kerosense then?
Huck: No my resolution, err response is I speak the truth. Sometimes the truth is sweet to hear. Sometimes the truth is harsh to hear. It could be nectar or it could be garbage, but it is the truth. No one said that the truth is only about nectar. Did they?
Producer: (Surprised tone) That's a resolution?
Huck: (Waving the book and tapping it) - I have alternate definitions for everything in here!

Producer: Sigh. What's next?
Huck: Next am going to make an example out of you!
Producer: Good lord! What did I do?
Huck: You'll see presently!
Producer: Can't we do it in private?
Huck: Not really! You asked for it by publicly ridiculing me on live television. So can't help it (Shrugs)
Producer: What are you going to accuse me of now, you superficial, shallow person?
Huck: Ha Ha! You are already on the offensive! At the start of the show you termed me a beautiful person and then without warning you call me superficial and shallow because it's convenient. There's a term for that. Hold on. (rapidly consulting pages in the dictionary...)
Producer: (fondly) Found anything?
Huck: Not yet. Hold on...( thumbing more pages...)
Producer: Look at this dear audience! He has no respect for any of your times!
Huck: Found it! Here! (showing the page) It starts with a H. see?
Producer: Damn! You aren't going to show the term to the audience? and make me look even more bad?
Huck: No.
Producer: Why not?
Huck: My next resolution is about forgiveness. I forgive myself for my mistakes (because no one else seems to be) and I forgive everyone else for the mistakes they did to me. So I forgive you. So I'll not ridicule you in public like you ridiculed me.
Producer: Does this mean I can do anything now and get away with it?
Huck: Err. Wait let me think.
Producer: (rubbing hands in glee)
Huck: No wait! The forgiveness is for acts already done.Don't test me!
Producer: Damn! and here I thought I had a real chance!

Huck: Let's move on the next resolution. Shall we?
Producer: Sigh yes.
Huck: The next one is about...
Assistant Producer: Excuse me gentlemen, the advertising guy is on the phone. He wants to know why his advertisement has not come yet.
Huck: WTF! Tell him we are busy making resolutions.
Assistant Producer: He insists
Huck: oh ho! He insists eh? Tell him, I am making a resolution to show all his advertisements with immediate effect!
Assistant Producer: (on the phone talking). Yes. That's what he said
Assistant Producer: (hanging up). He said he's happy now
Huck: Good! Let's get on with the show.
Producer: Wait a nimute! Wait a nimute! Aren't we going to show his advertisement?

Huck: Dear Ladies and Gentlemen of the audience. Looks like this stupid producer will never learn! It was a resolution! Now we break it! Kapish?
How else do you want me to call you now? Intelligent? savvy? stupid!

Producer: (sadly) So much for forgiveness.
Huck: I did warn you. didn't I?

Producer: Are there any more?
Huck: One last one! That's it folks! No more Huck's talk shows anymore!
Producer: Thank God for that! Now I can retire in peace and be free of you!
Huck: (exclaims) Ayyooooooooooooo! Someone give him this dictionary!

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